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They make it clear that they’re interested, and we return the favor—we tend to like those who like us (a concept psychologists call reciprocity).

“Less confident daters may even unintentionally spoil the attraction,” Malkin says.

It’s injected into the creepy creed of the pick-up artist Mystery. See, researchers took photos of a bunch of guys they’d either plastered with the canned deodorant or left alone, and then had women rate the photos for attractiveness.

“The kind of confidence we’re talking about really comes down to feeling good about your appearance and attractiveness,” says Craig Malkin, Ph. “Men and women both prefer a confident date, for a number of reasons.” For one, confident folks are natural salespeople.

If you lack self-confidence, you often allow yourself to be mistreated because you don't feel worthy of someone who treats you well, she said.

“People who are self-confident are able to discuss the relationship and issues that arise; someone who lacks self-confidence worry that discussing the relationship will hurt the relationship rather than help it,” Safran added.

“It takes awareness, flexibility, great communication skills and the ability to understand your partner’s perspective to make a relationship work.

But these aren't the type of men that you want to be in a relationship with.

Build your self-confidence and learn to feel good about yourself and it will be easier to find the right relationship.

Showing that you're with someone because you want to be with them, not because you need to be with them, makes a relationship stronger.

It keeps you from being dependent, needy or clingy. It's true that some men might seek women who are insecure, because then they feel she's less likely to leave them.

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Miller holds a Master of Social Work and has extensive training in mental health diagnosis, as well as child and adolescent psychotherapy. Developing your sense of self-confidence in a relationship may be difficult if you have a low sense of self-esteem or have been hurt in previous relationships.

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